Of course, it is occasionally necessary to eat to keep up your strength for turning spanners. Might I recommend the Car Bar & Bistro "special" - Spaghetti alla Electtrico!
500 gm Wiring Harness
3 cups water
3 tablespoons salt
200 ml heavy weight engine oil
handful of dirt to taste
2 tablespoons crimp terminals
2 teaspoons self raising flour
3 teaspoons blown fuses
1 flasher unit
indefinate length insulation tape
Finely chop the harness into small pieces, reserving several longer lengths, and place in a bowl. Mix well to confuse the punters, mashing from time to time.
Heat the oil in a pan until a haze appears and add the finely chopped wire mix. Sautee quickly over high heat until the insulation just begins to melt. Remove most of the mixture from the pan and cool on the garage floor. Continue to fry the remaining bits till crisp. It's OK to burn several pieces - this is perfectly normal for Italian style wiring.
Add the water and salt and bring to the boil. Simmer on low heat for 124 minutes adding the dirt to thicken.
Meanwhile roll the crimp terminals in the self raising flour to simulate the appearance of corrosion and deep fry till crisp.
Spread the wire and dirt mix onto a well greased oil drip tray and sprinkle with the deep fried crimp terminals. Arrange the fuses and relays in a creative heap in the middle and place in a preheated oven at 200 degrees C. Bake for 20 minutes till relays smoulder.
Insert the probe of a multi meter into the mixture to test if it's really "well done".
Serve on a bed of multicoloured insulation tape on old hubcaps, arranging the reserved lengths of wire in snaky patterns, looping in and out of the mix in an apparently illogical fashion till they actually DO resemble a Fiat wiring diagram!
Garnish with finely chopped wire insulation and serve smoking hot. Allow guests to use sidecutters if necessary on any tough bits.
© 1999 C.A.R. Productions
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